Crisis After Crisis — The 43-Year Confession

Yesterday was crisis after crisis after crisis. It has been 2 weeks of “If it could, it did.” My cry was “Lord! I can’t do this anymore!” I can’t be in 4 different places, keeping my head above water, I’m being pulled apart from every direction. So much hurt and pain, so much despair, so much loss. If I managed to fail you yesterday, if you got lost in the rush. I am sorry, I am. Be aware that it may happen again today, no promises, it looks like a repeat is on its way.

You see, there is this person who I had an appointment with… he wasn’t where he had said he would be. I spent the day looking for him, every corner of every parking lot, every side road, up and down the interstate at all his old haunts. Pray for him, pray that I find him or that some kind soul does.

Then a person I have been working with for several months, finally goes to detox, sticks it out as long as he can and wants to go home to his family and to treatment in an area where he will have support and resources. Time is short, but we scramble to get he and his significant other packed (everything they own goes into 2 suitcases and 3 duffle bags), tickets bought, clothes washed and dried, haircut, hot showers for everyone and shoes on their feet, food in their stomachs… We make the connections and they are on the bus… heading to home and new beginnings and hopefully a life restored. I Believe!! No hugs could be exchanged, it was too raw. He just gave me the look and quietly said “You have given me more love in the past few months than I have ever had in my 43 years combined. I will see you again.” and the bus cranked up and nothing more was said. He waves goodbye holding onto the resource list that has all the things he needs to get to the people who can and will help him along this journey.

There was more but I’ll save that for another day.

If I failed you yesterday, I am sorry. Life sometimes can’t be put off until tomorrow.

Love, Pam