Go Grab Another Cup of Coffee

Go grab another cup of coffee this may take a minute. This morning I feel compelled to give you guys my testimony. So, either buckle up or exit now. You have been warned.

I was raised in church. Had good parents. Was loved by my grandparents beyond any doubt. Prayed over. Prayed for. Raised as a child should be in every way. Still, I doubted, still I struggled, was willful, disobedient. Sowed some weeds in my pathway. Made mistakes and made bad judgements.

I found myself as a single mom with 3 little kids and more bills and responsibilities than I could handle. I asked for help, shamefully, reluctantly with a broken spirit. I was refused by everyone I asked. No help, no hope and shunned by the church who raised me. I was told get another job, I already was working 2, I was told ” You make $1.00 to much for us to assist in anyway.” So I went to school through basic medic to Cardiac Tech, to advanced Paramedic. I missed so much of my kid’s early lives just trying to find a way to feed them.

I was living in a dark, dark place. Seeing the worst that the world had to offer. Realizing that for people like me, poor, uneducated and with more mouths to feed and responsibilities than I could ever hope to carry by myself that sustainable life was not in the possibilities range. In anger and frustration and going to a place of no hope or help, I told a God ( who I wasn’t sure had ever heard me or existed for me ) that if he would help me just to make it until my kids turned 18 and could survive on their own, I would make sure that no one in my path ever faced life alone. That if I could then I would until my last breath. I still remember that the next thought through my head was ,“That was useless!” I went on doing what I could, knowing it was only a short time before the world fell out from under not only me but my children. I was resigned to that as my future.

No my church did not have a change of heart, my parents still said you’re on your own, the resource pool was still empty. Then out of the crowd a stranger stepped forward and said , ” Do you need a place to live?” She didn’t know me, didn’t know my story and I had no expectation of help. Yet, there she was. I said yes and she offered my a lifeline which I grabbed. Really had nothing to lose. Life did not immediately become a rose garden but slowly and with great effort my little family began to have food on the table and clothes to wear and my old car kept running and I got a raise and a better job and my kids grew and were healthy.

Then a small still voice began to whisper to my spirit and I knew there was a God and he had found me and I could lean on him, trust him and I did. I do. and I will until my last heart beat.

I kept my promise. I am still keeping that promise. I will always keep that promise. Man can try but will never come between me and that promise. What I have to give is his, given freely and with joy. Man can not take that away from me. They will and are trying but Satan has never won a battle with God.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk this morning. Just needed to clarify where I come from and where I am headed.

Love,
Pam